Blueprint for Partnership

by

Jim Egan

Let us assume that you have finally met someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life and he, in turn, feels the same about you. You are ready and willing to establish a permanent partnership-but how to start?

Sit down together some evening when you will have, if necessary, the whole night to spend in talking. With complete frankness discuss fully what each expects from his partner and the partnership in general. At few times in your lives will honesty be of greater importance-your entire future together will depend upon it during this discussion. Establish firmly if monogamy is an essential (I strongly recommend it). Come to an understanding regarding money matters (individual cases will differ, of course, but generally I feel that money should be pooled for mutual advantage). And what about your social lives? The gay bars, week-end parties; the "gay-whirl?" It is not necesary that any couple should become a pair of hermits or recluses, but it is the general feeling among the couples I know that partnerships of the enduring and solid type do not flourish in the typical "gay" atmosphere. Where applicable, discuss and agree on your handling

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of parents and family. Remember that there is strength in unity and, after all, the life you must live is your own: how you live it should be up to you and the whims or naggings of your family should have no bearing on the matter at all.

Discuss particularly your dreams and hopes for the future and be certain that most of these are mutual. Agreement and rapport should be found on such matters as one's attitude toward life in general, philosophy of living, approach to homosexuality and ideals. Don't worry too much about an abundance of mutual · interests—I mean such things as hobbies and the like these can be developed together later on. Mutual goals and values will more than compensate for any conflict between opera and jive.

If you find that you are irreconcilable on several important issues, right now is the time to stop and evaluate your chances for success. Don't waste precious years attempting to reach goals and achieve ambitions unless you can do it in harmony. You certainly will do it no other way and the partnership will otherwise be doomed from the outset. Just agree that you are both on the wrong track and try again later with someone else.

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